start date: March 20th, 2010
end date: March 19, 2013
Volunteer at the Humane Society as a ‘kitten feeder’ (bottle feed abandoned kittens)
Lie face down on the glass floor at the CN Tower
Skydive
Attend a Marilyn Manson concert
Work as a bartender at a nightclub
Fire a handgun at a shooting range
Travel to Cancun with friends on ‘March Break’
Lie on the beach and star gaze
Scuba dive
Go skinny dipping
Rent a cottage in the summer with friends
Play strip poker
Watch a sunrise
Watch a meteor shower
Go camping with friends
Have a ‘chubby bunny’ contest
Make every juice/smoothies recipe from my ‘reFresh’ cookbook
Learn how to make sushi
Make a three-tier cake
Eat a cake without cutting it
Lease a Horse
Enter a horse show (even if it’s just a school show)
Attend a formal ‘ball’ (prom style) complete with a stretch limo
Sing Karaoke
Learn to swing dance
Take a self defense course
Go on a hot air balloon ride
Have mind-blowing sex
Have sex outside
Go to a strip club
See the King Tut exhibit at the AGO (closes april 18, 2010)
Visit the Toronto Zoo
Go paintballing
Throw a dinner party, and cook all the meals myself
Attend Nuit Blanche
See a ghost
Wear horror/zombie makeup
Hang out in a cemetery at night
Watch the classic horror movies:
➢ Psycho (1960)
➢ Rosemary’s Baby (1968)
➢ The Exorcist (1973)
➢ Carrie (1976)
➢ Halloween (1978)
➢ The Shining (1980)
➢ The Changeling (1980)
➢ A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Travel to New York in December
➢ see the Christmas Tree at Rockefeller Center
➢ Go to Serendipity cafe
➢ Visit Rose Center for Earth and Space
➢ Ice skate in Central Park
Get drunk on Champagne
Celebrate New Year’s Eve the way it was supposed to be and go to a huge party
Learn how to snowboard
Read the entire Redwall book series by Brian Jaques (20 books):
➢ Redwall (re-read)
➢ Mossflower
➢ Mettimeo
➢ Mariel of Redwall
➢ Salamandastron
➢ Martin the Warrior
➢ The Bellmaker
➢ Outcast of Redwall
➢ The Pearls of Lutra
➢ The Long Patrol
➢ Marlfox
➢ The Legend of Luke
➢ Lord Brocktree
➢ Taggerung
➢ Triss
➢ Loamhedge
➢ Rakkety Tam
➢ High Rhulain
➢ Eulalia
➢ The Doomwytes
Travel to Ireland
➢ Explore Ireland by horseback
➢ Canter along a beach
➢ drink Whisky at an Irish pub complete with traditional Irish music
Travel to Egypt
➢ See the Pyramids of Giza & Sphinx
➢ Go inside a pyramid
➢ Ride a camel
➢ Visit the valley of the kings
➢ Visit the Egyptian museum in Cairo
➢ See the temples of karnak
➢ See Abu Simbel
Bury a time capsule
Get a tattoo
Be on top of the world. Literally.
Monday, March 1, 2010
The pursuit of happiness
I feel like I’ve missed out on so many things in life. I’m sure many people my age have felt that before, but it really rings true for me. There are so many things people my age have already experienced, that I have not. I feel like I've just been existing, rather than living. I know 22 is not considered ‘old’, but it frightens me when I think about how much time I’ve wasted, and held myself back due to anxiety, depression, fear & insecurity. It scares me that I do not look back on my life so far and smile, because to be honest, half of it was riddled with pain, and some downright hell-ish years that left some deep scars. Some of which are still attempting to heal, and some that I thought had, but I realize haven't fully because I let them change me. By no means is this supposed to sound ‘oh woe is me,’ there are certainly people who are worse off. No matter how bad your life is, there is someone out there who is in a worse situation. But it saddens me that I cannot look back on the past 8 years or so and feel like I lived. . I remember a time when I was about 13 years old at a friend’s Bat Mitzvah, and the song ‘A Whole New World’ from The Little Mermaid came on. My friend Jaimmie and I ran to the stage and just belted out the words to the song with no fear. Now, the idea of doing something like that terrifies me. Peoples experiences help shape who they are, and unfortunately for me my teenagehood years and my twenties certainly did a number on me in the creating fear/anxiety and insecurity department. But the only way to undoe the damage that has been done is to push yourself beyond your comfort zone, and force yourself to experience new things that might be able to re-shape the way you view yourself and the people in it. I imagine myself as an old woman far into the future, and as her, look back, and it scares me to death when I think about how I never did anything crazy and so many milestones I never got to experience. I never had a prom, or a proper highschool graduation. I never went to University and experienced those 'find yourself' years. I never really ‘partied hard’ without getting a panic attack during or after as a result. I’ve never travelled to cultural places like Europe, or around the world. I never did anything illegal. I never tried drugs. I only just recently went to my first concert. I've never had that close nit group of friends that you can count on. I never really dated. I never experienced the feeling of falling in love (in a positive/non-destructive way), or knew what it felt like to be loved back. I can't change the past and what I've missed out on, but I can try and shape the future.
In less than a month, I will turn 22. I have created a list of things I want to do before I turn 25. Why age 25? I think 3 years is a good amount of time to accomplish many of these things, circumstances willing ($). I don’t like lists that are for things to do before you die, or allow you too much time to do them. If you give yourself too much time, it gives you an excuse to procrastinate. You never end up pushing yourself to do the things on the list, because you think that gives you lots of time to accomplish those things, and they never get done for that reason. When you’re young is the best time to travel because you are presumably in the best shape physically (or atleast better than when you’re older), and you have more freedom. When you’re young is the time to get the crazy stuff out of your system and do those ‘out there’ things (like have a threesome). When you’re older and perhaps have children, you won’t have the time, energy, or money to do all the things you wanted to do. I want kids someday, and would never just see them as something that ties me down, but the reality is you won’t have the freedom to do whatever you want and you can’t be selfish with money (money that Is required to do many of these things) when you have children, you need to instead put that money towards them and their future.
Some people believe you shouldn’t make lists of things you want to do before you die or turn a certain age because it’s not as spontaneous as living moment to moment and just letting things happen, but I think if it helps to write a list and give yourself a deadline, and lights a fire under your butt, then why not. There are many wonderful things in life that one experiences that you can’t put on a list because it’s not something you can control. Which is why I didn’t add anything that had to do with love or romance, like ‘kiss in the rain’ or ‘fall hopelessly In love’ because moments like that can’t and shouldn’t be planned or put on a ‘to do’ list. They either happen or they don’t. As much as I believe that you can’t just wait for things to happen to you, you have to make them happen, that is only relevant in the subject of love to an extent. The best you can do is to truly open yourself up to the possibility it happening. There are many things I missed out on, like certain teenagehood milestone, that I can’t recreate, but I’m hoping that if I do these things, it will make up for the fact. I’m hoping by the end of these 3 years, having pushed myself to do these things will have made a deep impact on who I am and helped erase so much of the fear and doubt that has been created within myself from the past few years.
I’m treating this list as almost a project, and am taking it seriously enough that I have created this blog as a ‘checklist,’ to keep myself focused and motivated. It is a place to record my experiences throughout, and anything else POSITIVE or inspirational along the way.
“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.” - Henry David Thoreau
In less than a month, I will turn 22. I have created a list of things I want to do before I turn 25. Why age 25? I think 3 years is a good amount of time to accomplish many of these things, circumstances willing ($). I don’t like lists that are for things to do before you die, or allow you too much time to do them. If you give yourself too much time, it gives you an excuse to procrastinate. You never end up pushing yourself to do the things on the list, because you think that gives you lots of time to accomplish those things, and they never get done for that reason. When you’re young is the best time to travel because you are presumably in the best shape physically (or atleast better than when you’re older), and you have more freedom. When you’re young is the time to get the crazy stuff out of your system and do those ‘out there’ things (like have a threesome). When you’re older and perhaps have children, you won’t have the time, energy, or money to do all the things you wanted to do. I want kids someday, and would never just see them as something that ties me down, but the reality is you won’t have the freedom to do whatever you want and you can’t be selfish with money (money that Is required to do many of these things) when you have children, you need to instead put that money towards them and their future.
Some people believe you shouldn’t make lists of things you want to do before you die or turn a certain age because it’s not as spontaneous as living moment to moment and just letting things happen, but I think if it helps to write a list and give yourself a deadline, and lights a fire under your butt, then why not. There are many wonderful things in life that one experiences that you can’t put on a list because it’s not something you can control. Which is why I didn’t add anything that had to do with love or romance, like ‘kiss in the rain’ or ‘fall hopelessly In love’ because moments like that can’t and shouldn’t be planned or put on a ‘to do’ list. They either happen or they don’t. As much as I believe that you can’t just wait for things to happen to you, you have to make them happen, that is only relevant in the subject of love to an extent. The best you can do is to truly open yourself up to the possibility it happening. There are many things I missed out on, like certain teenagehood milestone, that I can’t recreate, but I’m hoping that if I do these things, it will make up for the fact. I’m hoping by the end of these 3 years, having pushed myself to do these things will have made a deep impact on who I am and helped erase so much of the fear and doubt that has been created within myself from the past few years.
I’m treating this list as almost a project, and am taking it seriously enough that I have created this blog as a ‘checklist,’ to keep myself focused and motivated. It is a place to record my experiences throughout, and anything else POSITIVE or inspirational along the way.
“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.” - Henry David Thoreau
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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